It may not be Animal Farm, but the pigs sure are causing a ruckus. The world is abuzz with Swine Flu. Or perhaps more apropos for 2009 — it’s all atwitter.
So far they attribute about a hundred deaths to this big bad wolf of a virus. Holy shit! That’s like 0.00000001% of the world’s population! (It’s actually more accurately a percentage of 1.48148148 × 10-8, but who’s counting?) With numbers like this it could wipe out the human race in centuries! So everyone should panic. Turn on CNN for PANIC! Turn on the BBC for PANIC! Even turn on the CBC for PANIC!
I guess the FINANCIAL CRISIS PANIC was losing ratings. It was headlining for a few months straight, almost unabated, which is tough for any story to do. After all, it’s not like it’s the OJ Simpson Trial.
To reinforce the panic, many countries have pushed the pigs away — banning imports of raw pork and pork products from Mexico and parts of the US, even though there is no evidence to support the equation: pork + exposure = infection.
Taiwan has announced it will quarantine any visitors showing symptoms swine flu (which are basically “flu” symptoms). South Korea is checking Americans (and other visitors) at the gate.
And even though it was clearly announced “there is no evidence of infection in pigs, nor of humans acquiring infection directly from pigs,” Egypt began a mass slaughter of the nation’s 300,000 pigs. The WHO has subsequently stated that it should not be referred to as “swine flu” in order to save the pigs. It should instead be referred to by its real name of “H1N1 influenza A” — that really rolls off the tongue. (This futile rebranding will surely fail.)
It was also announced this morning (May 1st) that Japan’s got its first case yesterday. A 17 year-old boy returning from Beautiful British Columbia has already been hospitalized. His symptoms are not serious, although his fever reached 39 C at its peak.
Ontario all had eight confirmed cases. The infected are at home recovering from mild illness.
Holy shit! Mild illness?! Upset stomach?! Runny nose?! Fever?! Stop the world!
CNN will also remind us all that: In 1968, a “Hong Kong” flu pandemic killed about 1 million people worldwide. In 1918, a “Spanish” flu pandemic killed as many as 100 million people.
However, they neglect to mention the 83 deaths of children occurring during the regular 2007-08 flu season. I guess the normal flu and common cold just don’t create enough of a stir.
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